The Hand of Death

I feel the hand of death upon my back.
Chill tips of fingers brushing my spine,
shivering through my body and my soul.
Before I can take another breath
his arms have wrapped around me.
I shudder, but there’s no screaming pain.
The cold seeps through my skin
and the strong embrace tightens
until there’s no breath within me.
My heart skips wildly against my ribs,
the only evidence of protest.
I rest my head back
and my eyes open to look up once more.
All the world has gone to grey,
and I watch as death’s shroud falls.
Then there’s only my heartbeat,
slowing now and stuttering.
I give myself to him.

Lady Nyx

Lady Nyx
Queen of Night
Give me peace in darkness
Cover me with your velvet cape
Let the silence smother me
Keep the moon at bay
So the light doesn’t wake me
Blacken the stars
Keep the fire of man away
Like a dream I once shared
Before the night came
I remember it
And even that is too much
Erase the light within my eyes
Dull the flame
Give me comfort
And rest
Take the world away
Hold me
Swallow me
Lady Night embrace me

Let Me Breathe

Pull me under the waves
Hold me down
Drag me through the swells
But let me take a breath first

Let me breathe
Give me one chance
Not so fast
Just a quick moment
Wait and I’ll follow
I’m coming
I just need to breathe

Lower me in the hole
Close the lid
Cover me with fresh earth
But let me take a breath first

Let me breathe
Give me one chance
Not so fast
Just a quick moment
Wait and I’ll follow
I’m coming
I just need to breathe

Picture

There is a picture that will not leave my thoughts.
You are there,
strolling through the tall grass in the meadow.
I can see you as if it were only yesterday,
your soft pouting mouth,
sparkling, baby blue eyes.
In your hand is a basket
with lilacs and wildflowers
of all colors.
It bounces gently against your leg as you move.
I can picture your soft brown hair,
your silvery laugh.
I had no idea how strong the hands of fate were
until I tried to fend them off.
One small cylinder of lead,
that was all that struggled against me in the end,
but the force behind it was great.
Too great for me.
How I wished I could have held you
those last minutes.
How I pounded on the glass between us.
I cursed the men and women in hospital issued scrubs,
I cursed their incompetence.
And all I could do was watch
as your life drained out of their hands.
It was red like roses.
You never liked roses much,
you said wildflowers were happier things.
I remembered that as I watched you die.
I pressed my hands against the glass,
slippery with sweat and rose-colored blood.
That was all that was left to me.
I couldn’t even meet your eyes
because you wouldn’t open them.
Eyes I had spent hours staring into,
getting lost in.
My forehead rested against the glass.
Men aren’t supposed to cry,
but I cried for you.
I knew I would never see you again.
I cursed the ones who had done this.
To take such beauty from the world was a mortal sin,
I cursed them for days.
Now I stand over you in this house of God.
You looked composed
and very serious,
not at all like you really are.
I hold a bunch of wildflowers in one hand,
the dew dripping onto the carpet.
You would have laughed
to see the faces as I brought them in.
You always did like wildflowers better.
Your face looks so empty without a smile.
My life is empty without your smile.
After they lower your body into the earth I sigh.
I didn’t mean to
it slipped out
like some thing of its own.
I suppose I’ll have to leave.
What am I going to do without you?
You’ve been my life for so long.
My hearts hurts when it beats,
it seems so loud in the silence.
If this is love I don’t want any part of it.
I look down at the flowers in my hand.
There is a picture that will not leave my thoughts.
You are there,
strolling through the tall grass in the meadow.
I can see you as if it were only yesterday.

Nothing to Lose

I swore you were better
Too good to be true
You swore it was my heart you won
We had nothing to lose
But your wings and my soul
So why not continue to run

When we passed in the night
Reached out to the shadow
Clung tight and started to dance
We had nothing to lose
But your wings and my soul
Everything riding on chance

My life was but darkness
Yours meaningless light
Both waiting in vain for a sign
We had nothing to lose
But your wings and my soul
Nothing to gain but time

I swore you were better
Too good to be true
You swore it was my heart you won
We’ve nothing to lose
But your wings and my soul
So why not continue to run

with me

life is mapped by burnt bridges over broken roads
names left behind on bitter lips
or muttered by bleeding hearts
even we don’t know the blackness inside our own soul
and if we did the color would make us weep
our trembling hands are not enough
to cling to the edge of reason

but for one thing
the hand of a friend extended without thought
someone who sees the blackness
but doesn’t fear its touch
to whom our tarnished soul is precious
and who walks with us
even after the road has disappeared

Hear My Silent Prayer

Hear my silent prayer
Read my bloodshot eyes
Feel the tremor in my soul
As I lay me down tonight

Hold my shaking hands
Slow my shattered breath
Support my bleeding heart
Inside my battered chest

Hold my thoughts together
Wrap arms around me tight
Sing to me of peace
Softly in the night

Give me back my mind
Blow the ash away
So I can meet the sun
The newly risen flame

Stitches and Tape

hold it together with stitches and tape

hold it together with glue

hold it together with wishes and faith

hold it together with you

sunshine

kisses

wind through the leaves

the creek singing to me

the sky full of stars

velvet black nights hot and sweaty with summer heat

the smell of alfalfa and puppies

the creaking of floorboards in the loft of the barn

mud

kittens crawling in my lap

the smell of pine trees and sap dripping

sand between my fingers

the moon on the water

the sound of trees

dirt under my fingernails

warm blankets

hot baths

driving with the windows down

elvira

tinkering and taking things apart

the night breeze

loving arms around me

dark chocolate

little run-down cafes

nests in the hay and a book

grassy meadows

stone cliffs

Reflections

In one instant,
one single moment of perfect time,
two souls resound in such harmony
it makes the world quiver.

So many no longer feel that moment,
no longer experience the swelling heart
so wonderful it pains us to experience it.
But our hearts remember it.
The feeling of loneliness we get as adults
is our soul remembering
how it felt to truly embrace another.
Cherish those who bring that feeling back.
Cherish those you love so hard it hurts.
Let your soul take flight,
and surrender to the joy.

If you are lost, my soul will find you.
If you are hurt, my soul will heal you.
If you grieve, my soul will comfort you.
If you are weary, my soul will carry you.
If you fear, my soul will protect you.
If you are joyful, my soul will dance with you.
If you love, my soul will know you.

Homework

Bobby sat at the kitchen table
With math book
Pencil and paper (no eraser)
Milk and cookies.
2 times 2 is 4.
3 times 3 is 9.
“Why does it take you two hours
to drive two miles
after you get off work?

4 times 4 is 16.
5 times 5 is 25.
6 times 6
“I don’t care what your sister thinks
about our relationship
and who asked her anyway… you?”

6 times 6 is 36.
7 times 7
“All you do is sit in that damn chair.
LOOK at me when I’m talking!”

Seven
Times 7
Is 49.
Eight
“Don’t yell at me!
Get off your lazy ass
And fix something.
This house is falling apart!”

8
times
8 (drop it on the floor)
(pick it up) is
64.
“Go ahead! Leave!
We’ll see who comes crying back home!”

NINE
TIMES
NINE
IS81
AND10TIMES10IS
“I don’t know why I ever married you!”

100.

“Bobby–
is your homework done yet?”

Almost.